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Tue, May. 7th, 2013, 04:13 pm
Life doesn't change much

I signed back in here because I can be more honest about life and stuff than on facebook where everything is all happy and superficial or on my other blogs which I've mostly abandoned since my mom and a couple spiteful bitches who know who I am started reading and commenting on them.

Looking back through posts from last year, my life is mostly the same. My son just turned 3. I'm still staying at home with him, doing some writing and work-from-home stuff, but most staying broke and looking for a job that will pay enough to make it worth the added expenses of daycare transportation, etc. I didn't get the car lot job because they (supposedly) had a hiring freeze after the interviews. I thought about applying at the prison again, but things are weird there because the governor has proposed closing one of the two local ones, which means layoffs instead of new jobs.

Instead, I'm looking at school again. I reapplied, but am still going to face the same issue as last year, where I need to have the money before my loans and grants will come through. I asked my mom if she could loan it to me until the financial aid check comes in, but she was pretty noncommittal, so I am assuming I'll have to figure it out myself. My husband won't help with it either, so that means more writing or some sort of work I can do. I'm out of stuff to sell, because I sold off a bunch of guns and most other things I had that were worth much when he spent the house payment money and I had to come up with it on short notice a few times.

I did get $500 from the weight loss thing, but the house payment was short again, which seems to conveniently happen any time I get any money, so it went to that. It sucks because I'd planned to use it to get my car fixed. It's running, but needing $1000+ plus in work (EGR valve cooler & EGR valve on a diesel) or else it will stop running sooner or later. Seriously, 1 step forward, 2 steps back.

We have a huge garden planned and a bunch of seeds started, so I should be able to get caught up some this summer since that cuts a lot off our grocery bill. I want to get chickens too, and a hive of bees, but am still scrounging materials to build a coop/tractor and top-bar hive. I'm thinking the chickens will be good for eggs and maybe some meat and the bees should help the garden, grapes, and fruit trees grow better. Eggs and honey to sell would also be nice.

Marriage-wise, we're still together. He hasn't mentioned a lot of the things he was pressing for me to do before and I'm just ignoring what he may or may not be doing online. I'm probably just being willfully ignorant, but we're getting along better for the most part and have a decent sex-life back (with just the two of us involved), so I'll be happy with that because it's probably the best I'm going to get. He's still sarcastic and mean on occasion, but I can be that way myself, and it doesn't escalate into fighting or being really hostile anymore. I'm not scared around him when he is angry like I was for a while, so I guess that means the worst is over.

The only real change in my life in the past year is that I've changed churches. Long story, and I could write a post or 5 just on this, but I gave up on the church I'd been attending because there was a lot of stuff I didn't agree with and I just didn't feel right there. After a lot of studying and trying to find a good reason not to, I started attending a Catholic church. I never thought I'd find myself here but I absolutely love it and am going to be taking classes soon to learn more about the faith and decide if I will join the church in a year or so.